Tim Diamond is the “world’s worst” private detective. He and his younger brother Nick run a very dysfunctional detective agency. One day, a dwarf named Johnny Naples brings Tim a mysterious package and asks him to guard it for a week — but orders him not to open it. The next day, Johnny is found dead, and their office is ransacked. It turns out the package contains a simple box of Maltesers, but this seemingly innocent chocolate box is connected to a criminal mastermind known as “The Falcon” and a huge stash of diamonds. Suddenly, every crook in town is after the Diamonds, and Nick has to use his wits to uncover what’s really going on.